July 5, 2019 - Goodbye Mister Torso Meat

A busy old week on and off of the cobbles. Tim’s Dad is responsible for overactive bile production in the viewing millions as his coercion of Yasmeen continues, for the moment, unabated, Maria is looking for her perfect match, who Emma thinks sounds like a cross between David Gandy and the actual Gandhi, but more likely is going to end up in the shape of Dr Ali who is permanently in the market for a haircut and none of this excuses Maria’s Robert De Niro impression. Meanwhile, Sean and Paul decide to have a feud this week which quickly escalates when loose lips around Moira result in the old bill conducting an interview at Speed Daal, but at least Bluetooth Billy gets a new set of headphones out of the deal, Carla is back from Carlisle with Peter and (briefly) Simon and she’s got some revolutionary ideas for what to do with the factory that are going to make the Knicker People very happy, and Peter and Nick very angry, Nick and David can no longer remember who was responsible for what when in comes to stealing Audrey’s money and now both become embroiled in a game of oneupmanship as the blame game increases in intensity to such a degree that a mannequin Audrey topples over in shock. In other news, Steve’s secret plans for Tiny reveal a potential relationship with Beth that, frankly, neither of us saw coming, Roy gets his ironing done, Netflix and chill has never generated more photo messages on a British soap opera, and Toyah is exceptionally well-prepared to serve up some veggie lasagna.