The Talk of the Street: A Coronation Street Podcast

January 3, 2020 - One-Legged Prawns

Ray Weinstein settles in at The Bistro by not sacking everyone and giving away free drink and charity money on New Year’s Eve, ensuring it continues as a loss-making venture into a new decade. For an encore, he precedes to piss all over Kev’s chips (figuratively) and gets his hole off of Abi (literally). Busy week for Ray. Gary’s gangster ways, or some of them at least, come out into the open when Mrs Derek turns up and spills her guts to an interested Izzy about the likelihood of Derek owning a knicker factory, On New Year’s Eve, Tracy wants to drag Steve to see a band that he can’t pronounce but ends up having a more universal conversation with Paula. Shona remains in a coma while David has to struggle with either sitting by her bedside all day or nipping out for an hour or so to testify against Josh. Steve’s got another haircut and a cat, Tim can’t make balloon animals, and Mary is an obvious horse.

December 20, 2019 - Winter Whatchicallit

In our second Christmas edition, stuff be a-building. Michael has turned that wee market place into the Rockefeller Plaza with only the help from unspeaking actors and that guy out of Bread, and a confirmed lack of indemnity insurance. Sally takes particular exception to Tim getting married in Vegas and then forgetting about it for a quarter of a century or whatever. Ryan earns his easiest paycheck by delivering an empty envelope to a shortened Lenny while Gary’s stock of furniture isn’t good enough for Princess Maria. It looks like the writers are determined for Rita to have a lonely Christmas. Michelle shows a staggering amount of concern for the Bistro’s employees, Irish Tina, and Tyler, but only for a very short period of time. Elsewhere, Gemma has the biggest pram in Christendom, Hope’s maniac tendencies see her take out the arch angel Gabriel, and Richard’s desire for a glass of water, twice, might just be the death of him. Have a fantastic holiday season, whatever you have planned, and we’ll catch up again in the New Year. Slainte!

December 13, 2019 - Menopause the Musical

We’ve had a tough week so fly through the stories more efficiently than usual. Gary reacts to news that he’s going to be a daddy again by buying his girlfriend an expensive car and moving her into a fancy flat with a rainfall shower — typical bloody man. The police have no problem tracking down Robert, become suspicious that he’s done in Irish Tina, and demand that Paula shuts her bloody yap hole while presenting evidence at ironic moments. Yasmeen didn’t kill Tim’s Dad in Vegas, Alya didn’t kill him outside the shop, no one killed him at his wedding breakfast, and quite frankly we’re getting a little annoyed by everyone’s lackadaisical approach to not killing this utter monster. After almost half a century on the street where she’s mostly been welcomed with open arms by all her neighbors, two days with little contact with anyone is enough for Rita to decide that she’s lonely. Hope nearly gets pulled over for answering her phone while in charge of a scooter. Cathy is so enraged by Daniel’s melancholy that she runs him over in the street. Bernie’s attempts at catfishing really are shockingly obvious. Tim is in for a shock when he realizes that Vegas weddings are legally binding. The bloke off Bread is a rubbish Santa.

December 6, 2019 - Bryan Maiden

Emma seems oddly threatened by her fledgling relationship with Seb when she offers to eat a hotpot despite being vegetarian, and agrees to attend an Iron Maiden tribute act despite hating heavy metal. Billy almost gets to the end of a wedding ceremony and Robert seems surprised when all his lies come home to roost. Derek is back on the scene as drunk as usual but with an interesting proposition for Nick and Sarah and the rest of the knicker packing people. Despite an extensive list of back-firing attempts to do the right thing by her son, Bernie’s attempts to do the right thing can be counted as one confirmed back-fire with another pending. Elsewhere, Fiz threatens to count up to five then ends up counting down to one, Roy sank Richard’s battleship, Daniel watches some videos in his vest, Rita has no mates, but Mrs McIlroy's cat is going to be fine.

November 29, 2019 - Reminiscent of Wagner

Supernanny Jade’s secret is revealed with the help of a bunch of flowers, a quote from Paradise Lost, and a graveyard with generous opening hours. Kel finds himself in front of the Old Bill who, despite having the polaroids from Bernie, are happy to release him on a burglary charge. Roy makes Richard’s home help cry and then quit after already threatening to make the situation worse by contacting Adult Services and has to rely on Aggie’s cooking in his attempts to make things right. After last week’s reveal, Michael wants to play the responsible father and Grace isn’t entirely against the idea but warns him to keep his mother out of her business. Good luck with that. The Knicker People now insist on being known as the Fifty Percenters, which isn’t nearly as catchy, and they refuse to listen as Nick frustratingly explains why they’re all going to be out of work in six months if they keep up with this slide nonsense, but maybe Sarah has a bright idea that’ll save everyone’s skin. Ray helps himself to an early morning Bistro capachoochoo and then reveals he’s dropping his lawsuit instead of his trousers for a change, and an increasingly scorned Michelle does well to keep her dinner down every time Robert is within two feet of her, which happens a lot. Elsewhere, Emma has an exciting Christmas offer that may be outshined by Steve’s fancy needlework, Brian thinks he looks like Robert from a distance, Nina isn’t going to a fancy dress party, and Mary is interested in getting her hands on Adam’s fusebox.

November 22, 2019 - A Slide With Bouncy Balls

We’re into week ten of Gav’s cold, which sees Sinead committed to the earth, Daniel angry at everything, and a baffled pawn shop owner wondering if keeping the golf clubs out in the open was such a great idea after all. Bernie discovers the truth of Kel and Paul’s past thanks to a well-pitched half-brick. This isn’t the week Michelle is going to succumb to no Robert cooties as she plots to destroy the silver-haired lathario who is all too quick to assume his legs are safely back under the Bistro table. Following James’s walk of shame, Michael discovers that he’s a daddy, but Aggie has her own ideas on the best way to handle this and opts for badly. Elsewhere, David and Shona have an exciting proposal for a non-plussed Lily and Max,  Hope decides to paint a picture of mummy on mummy, the knicker people make a strong case against them ever having a say in how the factory is run ever again, Gemma doesn’t belch, and shamefully no one shouts “Haircut!” at Adam. Oh, and Ken is in hospital but whatever.

November 15, 2019 - Let it Go

It’s been five months in the making but Robert’s come-uppence finally starts a-brewing and provides a salient lesson of the disastrous distractions that mobile phones can cause when driving. It can wait, kids. Roy’s mysterious Scrabble-playing leads him and Carla to his half-brother and niece, who reminds us very much of our own niece, Kaylynn (hi, Kaylynn). After a gaslighting fashion, Tim’s Dad heads off to Vegas with Yasmeen, where hopefully his mouth will get him into all sorts of trouble with the TSA and the Department of Homeland Security. Guantanamo Tim’s Dad has a nice ring to it. Gemma and Chesney are surprised to learn how much corporate sponsorship may pay for four wee baby faces and with a bit of luck it’ll be enough to cover the bar bill Bernie wracked up in Wales. Elsewhere, Daniel’s spending so much time on windy moors recently that he’s become a walking metaphor, Emma and Amy go off to see Little Mix, and Steve eats his cereal like an animal.

November 8, 2019 - Massive Gay Anthem

Yet another seven episode week but this one came with extra joy. Come hell or high water, Shona is determined to get married which means getting David out the jail, and the success of their plans may depend on the reliability of Nick’s Rover 75, the worst car ever made on British soil. Daniel has done what any normal Barlow would do in crisis by buggering off to Scotland, and draws Ken’s ire when he announces he has no plans to attend his wife’s funeral and not even Beth being in charge of the headstone is going to change his mind. Ali and Gary continue to swing their proverbials as they vie for Maria’s affections while Toyah’s advice falls largely on deaf ears. In his desperation to keep Tyler away from the street, Robert grasses him in to Steve which results in Amy being grounded and leaves Michelle and Carla to ponder what exactly any of this has to do with Robert. Elsewhere, it’s exam time for Abi and she prepares by getting muellered in the Rovers with a lovesick Kev-shaped puppy, Asha comes home for lunch and Cathy pops the kettle on, and for the fiftieth week running, the character we’d most like to punch in the throat is Tim’s Dad.

November 1, 2019 - Kebab Casanova

Daniel has a Sinead-shaped hole in his life that Beth thinks he’s trying to fill with an omnipresent Bethany, which leaves Daniel with few options for his immediate future. Gemma’s going stir crazy with Chesney and her mum at each other’s throats and spies a chance to get a cheeky wee breakaway to lovely Llandudno where she sees a cable car with her name written all over it, while the viewers see something else altogether, and Chesney has a surprise of his own in store. David may well have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, he may be getting threatened by prison goons, he may be up on an attempted murder charge, and the victim may be about to make the situation worse, but none of this stops Shona sorting out the wedding menu for next week's nuptials. Evelyn has her eyes peeled for her family, trying to maneuver Jade in Michael’s direction and away from Tyrone, while also maneuvering Michael to take care of all the odd jobs that Tyrone can’t be bothered taking care of. Tim’s Dad doesn’t waste any time in infuriating Alya and Yasmeen with his plans for Speed Daal and spending the restaurant’s money on fancy Californian business courses and for reasons no one can completely fathom, his bucket remarkably remains unkicked. Gary and Maria become close and after a successful date at the Rovers they’re in real danger of getting much closer still until Emma’s appendix decides to explode in protest. Elsewhere, Liz takes Tracy to Spain, Cathy memorizes babies, and Gail is dressed like a pirate.

October 25, 2019 - Pull Your Cracker

It was a week of two tales this week, with not a huge amount to smile about. David’s looking forward to getting out of jail in a couple of weeks and then going ahead and marrying Shona a few days later. It’s all booked. So let’s hope that he doesn’t do anything stupid like get involved in a prison riot and wind up in a room with Josh and a pair of scissors and then let’s further hope that footage of that incident doesn’t end up in Max’s or Imran’s inboxes. Oh, wait. In a storyline that began months ago, which involved the birth of baby Bertie and the passing of organic green tea and potpourri advocate, Steph, brave Sinead is approaching the end of her own metaphorical cobbled street, and frustrated by his inability to do the right thing by her, and devastated by the impending loss, a misguided Daniel goes off to find comfort wherever he can find it. Elsewhere, Peter and Carla are back, Kirk breaks a snow machine, Tracy says horrid things, Santa’s fairies do their best to keep him sober for a day, and poor Peanut contemplates getting a new forever family.